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-James ) when he doesn't have those three things in place is just as out of order.I remember when I was walking a particular journey with a guy and he once wrote me and said, "I promise to pray and strive to get into position for this life and for us." I promise you what I heard from that was "I'm going to marry you in a year." (LOL) Oh, what would our lives be like if we *actually listened* to what men said rather than what we wanted to hear?To me it simply looks like you posted a self-centered dating profile, but whom are you addressing?

Gloria Furman is the author of Alive in Him: How Being Embraced by the Love of Christ Changes Everything, Missional Motherhood, The Pastor’s Wife, Treasuring Christ When Your Hands Are Full, and Glimpses of Grace.

"Aside from how emotionally debilitating it is to be in a rebound relationship living with the ghost of the previous relationship, whether it’s the effects of it or the imprint of this person who may even still be lingering in their lives, it’s not your job to make a person who is unavailable due to not being over their ex, available. If you participate in this hot mess, not only will you compromise you greatly and put you in the position of ‘campaigning’, but you’ll basically nurse them out of unavailability and prime them for their next relationship.

Either that or you’ll nurse them until it becomes clear that you want them to be available and then they’ll move on to the next Buffer and keep moving until one day they emotionally implode.

On this side of wisdom (Proverbs 4:7), I realize that it probably actually distracted him from doing what he said that he was going to do because when a man says that he needs to *pray on something* (and please make sure you settle for *no less* than a man who thinks in that way), it means that he needs to hear from God more than from you.

It's hard to hear when there's a lot of background noise (especially when it's whining and nagging).


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